Episode 5 – Lost Boys: The Tribe
In this episode the boys take a departure from the normal format to pay tribute to the late Corey Haim by both watching Lost Boys: The Tribe 
the sequel to his most famous role as Sam in The Lost Boys. There is of course some Matinee Deathmatch and the guys do their Bottom 5 Vampire Movies. This episode also features the first ever Filmjitsu contest. Listen and win!!!
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April 11th, 2010 on 7:55 pm
Well. Now you’ve done it. A show dwelling on Vampires. Oh boy. Time to go to school, kids.
“Once Bitten?????” One of the worst vampire movies?
First of all, Lauren Hutton was looking to suck the blood from Carrey’s inner thigh – not his dork. And she bites buttons, which was funny because it set up a great line from Carrey’s gal-pal later in the movie. And as far as cougars go, I’d have gladly let her take a chunk of my leg back at the time the movie was released. Even now, watching the movie I think she’s sexy as Hell (and funny too).
It’s one of my favorite 80′s comedies – I watch it almost annually. It’s arguably one of the best, most fun performances by Jim Carrey. The dance sequence does the over-the-top 80′s school event scene crazier than just about any other one. LOVE IT.
Yes, it’s trash – but this is exactly what makes bad movies great. It’s broad, stupid and very, very fun comedy! Sense of humor check, fellas. Watch it again!
And then you guys manage to not mention HOW TOTALLY AWFUL “Interview With a Vampire” was while mentioned the even worse “Queen of the Damned.” DREADFUL Tom Cruise horror show. Just terrible, despite the nice performance by the then-wee Kirsten Dunst who was mucho disturbing.
Also: you talk about how so many vampire movies are obviously terrible by title, and you seemed to try to stay with mainstream flicks, but then you pull out “Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter,” a mondo-obscure low-budget flick that’s a testament to cool independent audacity (and admittedly, the limitations of a thin premise and no money). If you’re going to go no-budget and obscure, there are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many worse movies to go apeshit angry over. Hell there are even worse viewing experiences in MAINSTREAM stuff (which I’ll detail, but first…)
While Kristen Stewart is terrible (and twinkle vampires are impossibly stupid) – the concepts introduced in “Twilight’s” story really aren’t terrible. Stephanie Meyer did a neat job of toying with popular conventions (even if she’s a freaky Mormon type and shouldn’t be writing about vampires), but she also stayed true to the ‘perfect killer’ idea… and also subverted the idea of the the male vampire being the seducer when it was more the victim seducing the vampire. Not the worst Vampire movie BY FAR – even with it’s TERRIBLE “artistic” flourishes that sometimes made sequences feel like an 80′s Whitesnake video.
Top 5 Worst (Mainstream) Vampire Movies:
5.) Interview With a Vampire – Worse than “Queen of the Damned” because there was a chance it wouldn’t suck. “Queen of the Damned” came out of the gate as a total suck-fest and everyone knew it was going to be a bag of shit.
4.) Dracula – Dead and Loving It (You want to see a bad vampire comedy? HERE IT IS.)
3.) Love at First Bite – Tannest man in history plays Dracula? Um. FUCK NO. AWFUL. INTOLERABLE.
2.) Vampirella – Yes, the comic book adaptation of that great looking lady vamp. Yes, Taliso Soto should have been a great choice. OMG, did Jim Wynorski (Yes, the softcore impresario) rape this franchise possibility with bad costuming, terrible special effects and the casting of none other than Roger Daltry – THE ROGER DALTRY – as the villain.
1.) My Best Friend is a Vampire – OK. This is essentially “Once Bitten” without the sexiness. Or the funny. And Robert Sean Leonard from “House” doing his best to imitate Jim Carrey. Not good. Not at all.
Oh… and while “Near Dark” *is* boring – it’s not the worst vampire movie ever. NOT BY A LONG SHOT.
April 12th, 2010 on 6:40 am
Wow that is an impressive bottom 5 list sir. Sadly the only one I’ve seen is Interview with a Vampire. From the sounds of your bottom 4, had I seen them they totally would have made my list for sure. I’m pretty neutral on Interview. I didn’t think it was bottom 5 worthy but I also wasn’t blown away.
June 11th, 2010 on 5:25 pm
Okay, first of all John, I also love Jonny Lee Miller and Hackers. Sick Boy FTW.
Yes, Queen of the Damned is shit. But so is Interview with the Vampire.
And, for the record, Lestat is a rock star in Queen of the Damned book, so Anne Rice needs to get at least some of the blame for this. Just sayin’.
New Moon is even worse than Twilight. Yes, I have seen them both. Why? Because they are the pure comedy. The “mope montage” in New Moon was especially fantastic.
But unquestionably the worst vampire movie I have ever seen is DRACULA3000. Seriously, one of you should assign this to the other one. I have never seen its like. Casper VanDien AND Coolio. Brilliance.
June 13th, 2010 on 10:29 am
Glad to find a fellow fan. I forgive Hackers for all the horrible inaccuracy and I’m not really sure why, I just love it.
Yeah Anne Rice writes some craziness but she hated all the movies and said they “mutilated” her work. There is a story of her losing her shit in a pre-production meeting when they cast Tom Cruise as Lestat in Interview. According to lore she went on a tirade about Cruise looking nothing like Lestat, stood up and flashed everyone her tattoo of Lestat. Apparently it isn’t in an X rated location but it is in one that people tend not to expose during business meetings. I tell people to skip the movies and in fact skip the books. Though I did enjoy her son’s first book.
Fuck Twilight and fuck New Moon.
I have not seen Dracula3000 but from what I’ve heard of it I have no doubt it would have made my list if I had. Sounds like complete crap.